Friends, I’m launching a campaign to end the practice of installing dummy deadbolts on the inactive sides of double door sets.

In the past it made sense. You could really add to the grandeur of a home’s front entry by installing a mirror image of the active door hardware on the inactive door. You’d do this with a dummy set. It looked like a lock but had no mechanical function. It was there only to look good. In the modern era it does not look good and we shouldn’t do it.

As it is becoming the norm to install keypad deadbolts on our homes, it’s getting to be impractical to seek symmetry when selecting hardware for double doors. A dummy version of a traditional deadbolt tends to be awkwardly misaligned when sitting across the astragal from a modern keypad lock. Manufacturers aren’t making dummy versions of keypad locks, and it wouldn’t be practical if they did. A properly installed traditional deadbolt could stay on a door for 30, 40, maybe 50 years, easily justifying the expense of a fake sister piece on the other door. But a digital lock? You’re lucky to get seven years out of it.

The only solution is to stop seeking symmetry and eschew the dummy deadbolts on new sets of double doors. We must embrace the asymmetry. One could say that lopsidedness is a hallmark of the modern era. We see unimaginable wealth for the robber barons and toil for the rest; political might only for the side that cheats; climate catastrophe mostly for those who played no part in its promotion; and now…a digital deadbolt on the active side and a shocking void on the other. Your door will be a sign of the times. Friends, neighbors, and strangers alike will admire you for keeping your finger on the beating pulse of the zeitgeist. They will come to you for advice and guidance.

So who is with me? What brave souls will join me in my cause? Please, friends, hear my call and say it with me: Down with dummies!